the most Beautiful word

On occasion, I find myself curious about situations when people say they find something extraordinarily familiar about a person they met for the first time, or when people fall in “love at first sight” – almost as if they have known the person before.

I wonder – could it be possible that perhaps, they had actually met when they were younger, as children romping around the same playground, or schoolmates who had attended the same kindergarten or shared some excursions together before – experiences so common that occurred at such a tender age that the memory simply didn’t register them? Also because perhaps, the two never did get to know each other but had simply been playmates – random encounters with passing strangers, in a way.

Recently, I sent the Apostle back to his place at AMK Ave 4 – never knew where he lived – and am sort of mildly surprised that it was in the same neighbourhood I grew up in.

The only reason why it was a ‘mild’ surprise is because I have gotten used to experiences like these that thrill and shock, that sometimes make me wonder if there is no such thing as a Destiny Rule Book for all occurrences in Life.

So the other day, I took a drive to deliver something to a friend staying at Mayflower Place, just around the corner from AMK and I was telling August who was accompanying me on the trip, all about the people in my life who had turned out to be living just a few blocks away from me.

And they all happened to be in the AMK Ave 4 neighbourhood.

I grew up at Blk 114. I still remember the small living space we had, the yellowish-brown sofa set on retro tiles, the neighbours who quarrelled and fought almost everyday – yelling and throwing things around – the many provision shops just downstairs of my house and my next-door neighbour who drove a taxi and was always kind to us.

About four years ago, I got to know this man who became a very good friend and it turns out that he stayed at the same block of flats as I did! He is a few decades older than me but we had stayed at 114 in the same period of time – so I wonder if it’s really that impossible that I, as a young toddler, might have run into him as a young married man then, taking the same lift perhaps? Is that why there is something almost familiar about him?

My godparents stayed at Blk 230 and I grew up there, when my mum was carrying my brother and working then. This was when my godparents decided to adopt me (because I’m lovable? haha). When I was older, I would camp at their house over the weekends.

Blue Caps grew up at Blk 231, right up till the time I got to know him. That’s the block right beside my godparents’. And for sure, there was something that drew me to him from the first time I noticed him. After that, he used to say that his parents used to bring him to this arcade place at Thomson Plaza (known as Yaohan Thomson back then) and it’s no longer a surprise, but that was my playground too. We even shared the same favourite ride there!

“Maybe you’re the girl sitting beside me all the time!” he used to tease and joke. Very much possible. If not, then maybe we had chased each other down at the playground nearest to 230 and 231.

My brother’s godparents were at Blk 162. That was the other place we hung out at. More so for my brother than me though. When we did go there, it was to eat our favourite carrot cake at the market. That was where we ate, all the time, for as long as I can remember.

The Apostle stays at 163.

If you’re a follower of my old blog, you would know how special this friend is to me.

Now for conspiracy theories (a conspiracy of the universe?): The night I met him was the night the problems I had with my older friend (who had stayed at the same block as me at 114) were pulling me so down, that placed me in the state of mind that had allowed for the Apostle and I to become friends.

And in the following years that the Apostle and I are friends, a large part of why we are, is because of a mutual need to find reprieve from such useless nagging issues in our lives – different situations, and yet of the same nature.

The events surrounding this situation – one so unpleasant that led to another that continues to be such a big part of my life – may seem inconsequential to you reading this, but to me, they are intricate pieces that have fallen together to form a semblance of an answer to the mystery I see in my own life.

So when I was driving down AMK Ave 4 just the other night with August, it felt like I was literally taking a “trip down memory lane”. Just driving down one road, I managed to connect a few special people who had randomly appeared in my life, not at the same time, not from the same place, with no thread that connects them to one another, but all of whom have impacted my life in huge ways that have shaped my views and changed my life (not always for the better) in the last years.

I’m not talking about friends you get to know who live in the same neighbourhood. I’m talking about friends you get to know now who turn out to have lived in the same neighbourhood then.

Coincidence? I’m not one to believe in coincidences.

Then again, people do tend to see things where they don’t exist, so long as they want to.

But for me, a lot of answers I didn’t know existed, to questions that have surrounded me in the last four years especially, seem to have fallen into place.

I’m really not one to believe in coincidences.

Last Thursday night, KSZ, Rays, Benz, The Menace and I met up for Thai food at a restaurant located at the old Liang Court – Suan Thai. It was an ala carte buffet, where we could order as much as we liked from some thirty-six dishes.

Being the gluttons we are, we wanted to order everything.

Upon learning that a penalty would be imposed on excessive ordering and surplus leftovers, we didn’t.

Rays informed them of my book, soon to be published, on my behalf.

“Wow! You’re going to be a writer!” The Menace laughed. “What’s your book about?”

“Is it about me?” KSZ asked.

“Am I in it?” Benz’s turn.

Boys are always boys at times like that.

I tell them no, they are not in my book and proceed to share with them the story of the flea market.

“Not bad, not bad,” The Menace complimented after I finish. “Okay, reserve one copy for me!”

“See! At least he’s not asking me to give him one for free!” I scolded Benz, who had wanted a free copy.

“No, no,” The Menace chortled. “I will buy one copy and lend it to him!”

“You guys are terrible,” Rays grinned.

And I tell him, “You’re my only real friend now, Rays.”

“You should scan the pages in and email them to us!” he added to dispel my notions of him being my only friend, all at once.

-_-

After dinner, we proceed to grab a beer at Robertson Walk, and the conversations split from there.

Rays and The Menace were exchanging stories of their proposals, wedding venues and choice of homes. KSZ and Benz were critiquing some show on cable, Man Vs Wild (?)

I was sitting alone, smoking, looking at these boys whom I had once sworn, were my brothers. Some are more affectionate and warm, while some others adopt a protective nature towards me; some hide their fragility beneath jokes and smiles, while others display their inner strength quite humbly – but each is cheeky in his own way.

The beer over and done with, we head to Denise The Wine Shop at UE Square. In there, we order a Cloudy Bay Pinot Noir. Incidentally, Cloudy Bay was the wine August and I had been hoping to drink at Cape Mentelle’s wine-pairing event. Which we didn’t get to do. I was excited to see its Pinot Noir.

We drank and then out of the blue, KSZ brought up that he felt a little hurt that Vonne didn’t invite him to her wedding – assuming that we were all invited.

“VONNE’S MARRIED?!!!?” we all exclaim, shattering his assumptions and his hurts together.

He laughed. “You mean none of you knew??? And I thought I was the only one who wasn’t invited!”

Apparently, another one of our gang, Pat, had called KSZ from the wedding dinner and demanded to know what time he was arriving. The two hadn’t spoken in ten years either. KSZ thought we were all there, except him.

Then the boys started kicking up a fuss over why she didn’t inform us that she was married – which I didn’t understand at all.

“Look, we weren’t in one another’s lives for the last ten years. If you were the one getting married in that time, would you have invited any of us?” I posed to all of them together.

“No…”

“Guess not…”

* shrugs *

“Maybe this is why she’s so reluctant to meet up with us,” Rays suggested. “Because she probably doesn’t know how to explain that she’s married?”

Why?

“If I had gotten married sometime before meeting all of you again, I would’ve just come anyway and tell you that I’m married. What’s there not to explain?” I asked.

“That’s right…”

“Yeah…”

* shrugs *

“Maybe she’s just not interested to meet us anymore. Such a pity, we all used to be so close,” Rays said.

And I guess that’s how things work. We could all have started tight friends, then having gone separate ways, and lived our own lives. Well and good. But when the opportunity arrives for these old friendships to be restored, it is up to us if we want to do that. The doors are always open, as friends’ embraces are. Whether to step through those doors – and fall into the arms of your dear friends and to return them with hugs – is up to you, married or single, a close friend before, or not.

During what is commonly known as “the first three months” to Junior College students in Singapore – the three months of the new year before the ‘O’ level results were disclosed and one could then know which JC one is eligible for – I was at YJC.

Playing the fool, enjoying life, skipping lectures and tutorials, or attending them just to monkey around with my friends… that was how I spent those sweet three months. There were about eleven of us who found one another – eleven of us from different schools and backgrounds, dispositions and attitudes, who became fast friends because of the amount of time we spent together.

The day for the ‘O’ levels results to be released arrived. It was one of two most terrifying times of my life where receiving your result slip was concerned. The other was to take place two years later, when receiving my ‘A’ levels results. It was as if your life or death was entirely dependent on that piece of paper, which I suppose is the result (pun unintended) of how much effort you had put into your studies.

Today, none of that makes much sense. It is just.a.piece.of.paper. Nobody should have to survive or die by it.

Well, I got 12 points and Mum wanted me to go to a good JC, of course.

I opted for CJC, for reasons to be expounded in future entries on this blog.

And parting from my friends was not sweet sorrow in any way. It was heartbreaking.

But as with all things, our promises of staying in touch and never letting the friendship go, came to naught in time. Though those of us who had left, actually did make huge efforts to head back to the school, and encouraged one another to keep in constant contact, for a good long while after that.

—– ♥♥ —–

Ten years passed.

For some reason, I had reminisced about my YJC friends when one day, while at Serangoon Gardens, someone drawled out my name, “Joooyyyyce…”

I turned around and saw Rays grinning at me while in the queue to draw some cash.

“Hey!” I smiled in return, noticing that he was all grown up, more handsome now as a man with his own style. I thought he actually resembled Jay Chou.

Honestly, I wasn’t that keen to re-establish contact. Rays stays in Serangoon Gardens too and it wasn’t the first time we had run into each other in the last ten years. But exchanging phone numbers was all courtesy with nothing to follow up on.

This time though, was different.

We went out a few times and decided to try to hook up our old friends.

I had Benz’s number and The Menace was on my Facebook (for once this is actually helpful). I searched for the rest of them and found KSZ. The Menace had Mali’s number and Mali had Vonne’s. Now we were only missing Jase. This was the core group who were truly close before.

But then strangely and suddenly, Rays and Benz both ran into Jase, one at the gym and the other, someplace related to work. How strange!

And the reunion did take place. Not all, though. Jase, Mali and Vonne didn’t show up.

But for the rest of us, it was good.

Strangely, although we had all not met one another for close to ten years now, when we did, it still felt as comfortable as ever, after stripping away the initial awkwardness. They say that friendships last forever. I used to believe in that whole-heartedly, and then I didn’t when I learnt that friends do go separate ways, when they did.

But it feels like I’ve travelled one full circle because I’m back to believing that. At least, I now know that even if friends are to separate, friendships – the real ones – can last forever. It’s only a matter of time before that alone brings two friends – or more! – back together. The rest, as they too, say, is up to you.

It is Tuesday 18 November 2008, 7.00pm as August and I trot up the wooden staircase and turn right into One Rochester. For its logo, a bottle of wine stands in place of ‘One’. Nestled in a tropical environment, it can provide for quite an easy chill-out, especially after a day’s work.

But during this financial crisis period that plagues the world, that should rightfully stress more people out, there is hardly anybody else around. The waiters and waitresses are standing around, looking on and smiling their welcomes as we pass them. August’s partners, Dr T and Serene, MYEE and his wife, are still on their way. So what do we do? We call dips on the free-flow wine.

August and I are here for a Cape Mentelle wine pairing event. Jim the viticulturalist, the one who actually cultivates the grapes at the vineyard at Margaret River, is here tonight too. Tall man, with not much of an Australian accent. Nice-looking chap. I don’t know much about wine but Cape Mentelle is apparently quite enjoyable, which I do taste with the first sip of its Semillon Sauvignon Blanc 2008. It’s friendly and quite excellent!

We enjoy our free-flow of drinks till about 7.30pm before we adjourn to a pavilion occupied with two rows of dining tables. Dinner is… un-satisfying – to me, at least – because of just how small the portions of food are. For appetiser, we have seared scallops, with chestnut puree and shiso cress – really two scallops that I take great pains in slicing into bits to chew on as demurely as I can manage, just so I don’t end up swallowing them whole and be done with it in about one minute 15 seconds. The recommended wine that goes with this dish – Cape Mentelle’s Chardonnay 2007.

Then we drink some more. Though August and I were really more keen on the wine than the dinner, in the end, we’re drinking more because the food takes such a long time to arrive at our gleaming plates that are shivering, exposed to the cold without the presence of food that’s supposed to keep them warm.

The snails finally arrive. Literally, on our plates. For some reason, they aren’t listed as escargots but “snails” – fricassee of snails with spinach, baby artichoke, mushrooms and pancetta with jerusalem artichoke puree, with Cabernet Merlot 2006 for pairing. Someone makes a joke about them being the snails that belong to the lush landscaping of One Rochester. Great. Again, the entire meal takes about… what, two minutes to finish?

The last dish, the Pan roasted veal loin, is excellent. It’s served with caramelised parsnips mash with rosemary and shallot jus. Honestly, I don’t know if it tastes good or if I’m drunk but I think I’m tucking into it because I’m famished! I think I didn’t enjoy this Cabernet Sauvignon 2004 but I can’t really recall.

I have this theory about fine dining food. Consider this: Perhaps the food served is never as appetising as we think it is. The only reason we think so is because we’re left craving for more when we chew up the last morsel on our plate. And perhaps the reason we’re craving for more is really because there isn’t enough to begin with! So, I urge you, consider this carefully – is it because the food is tasty, or that it’s minimal, that we feel like we just can’t seem to get enough of it?

The wines, though, more than make up for the lack of sustenance. We drink, and we drink and we drink some more. August and I have fun smoking and drinking and being in each other’s drunken company. The night turns out to be lovely and cool, the bar’s lights dazzling and romantic. We’re flirting a lot tonight and that’s just so incredibly… sexy.

We meet a mixed couple when we adjourn to the second level of the old colonial house where they serve chocolate fondue with marshmallows, strawberries, blood orange and some jell-o-like sweets. MYEE’s wife is eating a lot of that but August and I are enjoying one too many smokes out at the balcony. The couple joins us later into the night, when I begin to see the streamers of Christmas lights suspended from trees as stars hanging around by our side.

Apparently, Wifey and Husband both used to smoke but when they got married, Husband stops. But I like what he proposes to us – that yes, cigarettes are poisonous and harmful but so long as we enjoy it sufficiently with no big concerns, then we should carry on. Otherwise, we should quit. I like that.

So I’ve decided to emulate that attitude. Regardless of what others may say, whether I’m being a glutton or that I’ve got a big appetite, when it comes to the amount of food being served to me, Size. Does. Matter.

Since I decided to become a more mature blogger, with more focus on improving my writing, I’ve set up this youngling of a blog with a lot of help from August.

This was birthed on Tuesday 18 November 2008.

Welcome.

Most likely, you’ll be reading about what I’m working on, my personal writings and possible rants and raves as well as the positive ramblings and reflections!

This is the second blog I’ve ever had; the first one turns three next January. I don’t know yet what I’ll do with it but I may transfer some old entries here.

Drop me a note, friends who have come from there! Just so I know who’s here, perhaps?
And if there’s anything you wish to read about on this blog, leave a note, or comments, and I’ll see what I can do.

Preferably something interesting for me to write about too!